the throne of kings

Here is a fact.: When a man needs to visit the facilities to take a leak, he needs to feel comfortable. Mulleadys in Magnolia has one of the best pissers in Seattle.
The ginormous urinal in the gentlemen’s restroom was salvaged from the old Seattle Orpheum Theatre of the early 1920s. It's truly a treat when you have to make a deposit after several beers.

forest friends log

The forest friends log from The Swiss Colony has been a holiday favorite in my family for many years now. It's a perfectly delicious 8" chocolate cake with swirls of butter creme filling.
Picture an upscale Ho-Ho on Roids.

Hmmm Tasty!

The only downside to this delightful treat is that you have to get over the, "deer in the headlights" look from the little forest friends as they sit trapped behind the cellophane wrapper, staring at you, as they await their demise.

I can almost hear them begging me not to eat them but the temptation is too great to resist.

bring it

Happy Turkey Day to all!

Who'd have thunk it'd be dry and sunny on Thanksgiving in Seattle?

Since I moved to the NW 10 years ago I've always wanted to buy one of these living x-mas trees and last weekend I finally broke down and bought one.

It's almost sickening how early the Holidaze start every year and I'm guilty of buying this little Charlie Brown tree nearly a week before Thanksgiving. I couldn't resist it with it's adorable red bow and I plan to re-pot it so that it can continue growing on my balcony.

Business Time

It's about time the first season of Flight of the Conchords was released on dvd. If you haven't seen it yet then I highly suggest that you RUN to your nearest video store and rent both discs immediately or just buy the set because you'll surely watch it more than once. If you're a cheap bastard, you can download it via bittorent or why don't you just rip it to your hard drive and then you can burn it to a dvd. Mass produce it and sell the damn thing on craigslist for $5 a pop. Until then, please enjoy this clip.

The Beer Belly

If you're looking for the perfect gift for that special alcoholic in your life, look no further friends, than the Beerbelly. Here's your chance to sneak your favorite "beverage" of choice into sportin' events and monster truck shows, without the hassle of having to pay those inflated, stadium prices.

Yeah, like no-one is going to figure out that you have a fake gut full of booze when you're sucking on a damn rubber hose that mysteriously appears from underneath your shirt. I also don't quite believe that the dude in the ad is the typical buyer for this product. Sure he looks like your typical douche, ex-frat boy but I think the ideal demographic for the product looks something more like this guy. (sorry to anonymous buddy, I'm sure you're a sweetheart of a guy but a few squat thrusts probably wouldn't hurt)

Oh and ladies, I hope you're not feeling left out because you can own your very own Wine Rack. She's totally hot and check out her Sweet Rack-FULL OF WINE. Now that's my dream girl.

Happy Halloweeny!

It's always a bit awkward when any holiday falls during the middle of the week. Do you celebrate it the previous weekend or the following weekend? Everyone loves pumpkins, right? Here are some pics that I snapped during our trip to Long Beach WA.

Fall Leaves

I took advantage of our sun break this afternoon to snap some pics near my home in Magnolia. This evening's nasty rain will most likely bring all the leaves to the ground.

Orcas Island & Oly Penninsula Trip

I took a trip up to Orcas Island, which is the largest of the San Juan Islands to enjoy our early Autumn weather and it was the perfect time to travel. The Summer crowds were long gone and most of the beaches were deserted and I was able to enjoy the natural beauty in peace.
The rippling water was so incredibly relaxing and hypnotic and time seemed to stand still as I sat on the beach and starred at the seaAfter spending two perfectly dry and sunny days on Orcas, I awoke to my first overcast morn and took a final drive around the island before taking the ferry back to Anacortes. Some may find the below pic to be dreary and sad but I thought it was incredibly beautiful in its starkness and loved exploring this foggy land.I drove through Deception Pass into Whidbey Island and found yet another almost deserted beach to chill on in the late afternoon sun.
The next day I took another ferry ride which dropped me onto the Olympic Peninsula and I drove west on Hwy 101 to Neah Bay. I didn't realize the Makah Reservation was a dry area and I found myself in a very scary fisherman's motel at night with no wi-fi, cable tv, books or any alcohol.

Oh Dearest Lord in Heaven, please help me during this very dark time!

On the last day of my trip, I awoke at the ass-crack of dawn and took a quick drive to Flattery Point which is most northwestern point in the lower U.S. I took the mile long hike along Flattery Trail to look-out area and relaxed on the wooden observation deck and enjoyed the view.

Have a Hoot-arific day

One of the nice things about being unemployed is that you can catch up with friends over lunch. My friend Jody and I decided to be kooky and we met up at Hooters on Lake Union. This was my first trip ever to the land of orange shorty-shorts and nylons and I was pretty damn curious to experience this bit of "culture" first hand.

The atmosphere wasn't quite as surreal as I was hoping it would be and it turned out to be your typical sports bar with burgers, fries, wings and flat screen tv's everywhere. The best part of the experience was the view of course. Hey wait a minute, I meant the lovely view of the lake but the Hooters gals were babelicious-in that overly made-up kind of way.

The mid-day crowd was pretty Dude-heavy as one would expect. You had your table of blue collar construction workers next to your table of IT geeks. The table next to us seemed to be retirees that were visiting from out of town. My guess is they were from Spokane or some other part of Eastern WA. These gents each bought a calendar of the Hooter gals and I'm sure that kept them occupied for the long drive back home.

The gals were all very nice and perky and cute but they refused to give me a lap dance when they brought my food. Wait, this isn't that kind of place! What if I throw in an extra $5?
I kid, I kid.

Gmoney likes G. Force

My hairstylist just turned me on to G. Force extreme hold gel $13.95 from Osis that is made by some German company called Schwarzkopf Professional That has to be the most boring name ever for a hair product company.

The Germans prove once again that they are the beacons for modern design and slick marketing. I don't even really care if this stuff is any good because I'm such a whore for good packaging. I'm picturing the product developers all with flat tops and running around their pristine lab in white coats and wearing little, round specs.

The best part is that the product is colored Red. Enough with the wackiness, you crazy Germans. I've never put red shit in my hair before but I guess this takes me one step closer to being a Metro.

TV on the Radio: Wolf like me

Not much is happening in blogger-land but my contract at that mighty software company is ending this week and I'll be briefly back in the land of unemployment until I find a new gig. I'm not exactly sad to be leaving because this hasn't been the most positive work experience and I need some time to decompress from it.

I'm thinking of taking some quick trips around the NW and I'm planning a drive to Walla Walla wine country and I've always wanted to take a float plane up to Victoria BC.

In the meantime, please turn up your speakers and enjoy this EXPLOSIVE-rocker from Brooklyn's TV On The Radio on David Letterman.

Production Stills

Here are some production stills from the short film, Still Life that I'm currently editing. I promise to shut-up about the project until it's finished. Photos by Carl Nelson

Co-Producer/Lead Actor Will Chase and Executive Producer/Writer Chris Baily
I go up for the high angle, hand held shot.
Lead Actress Erin gets into make-up
My DP (Director of Photography) James Yi and I (the director) discuss a shot.

Sunday

This is exactly how I've felt on many a Sunday while nursing a hangover from a night spent drinking with friends.

This sketch is one of the props from my short film that I'm currently editing. It's been a slow process so far because I'm learning Final Cut Pro as I go but it's been fun. If all goes well, it'll be completely finished in a couple of months.

Pork Fest

Don't you just love the name Pork Fest? I could repeat it one hundred times in a row and it just never gets old for me.

Yesterday my buddy Andy G and his three roommates and I went over to his landlord/neighbor's annual BBQ at his home in Sunset Hill. It's become quite the neighborhood event over the last several years and the host buys an entire pig and slow roasts it overnight to delicious perfection. There was a ton of food and booze and at least 100 people were chowing down on ribs and pulled pork all afternoon in the huge backyard. It's so popular that they actually printed up Pork Fest tye-dyed t-shirts (ex- hippies). I somehow managed to avoid lapsing into a swine induced coma after the pig out.

Out of curiosity, I Googled 'Pork Fest' and it returned a whopping 668,000 references and that goes to show how much people love a good hunk of sizzling pork drenched in BBQ sauce. With all this porking going on, I was a bit surprised to not find a single, weird porn site amgonst the thousands of hits. Talk about a disappointment!

alki and beyond

I've always thought the Ginormous cargo cranes at the Port of Seattle looked pretty cool and I took a little drive over there on this perfect Summer day to get a closer look. As I drove up to the fenced-off, restricted area, the security patrol perked up very quickly as I was the only car in the area. They seemed to be wondering, Why is that strange little man taking photos of our cranes on a Saturday afternoon? I snapped a few quick pics and scurried the Hell outta there real fast. The last thing that I need is to wind up on the news for snapping pics of a highly sensitive area. (No officer, I swear these are really just for my blog-I have absolutely no ties to any extremist groups) That didn't work out quite the way I planned so I drove to Alki beach to check out what was going on over there. It's been about a year since I've been to Alki and I'd almost forgotten how damn scenic the beach is. I was expecting to see a bunch of Asian kids racing around in tricked out Hondas and chromed out Escalades going THUMP THUMP THUMP but luckily it wasn't quite cruising hour. There was some sort of sponsored Volleyball event that I avoided and I relaxed on one of the benches to take in the sun. On my way home I found this park with a perfect view of our lovely city.

520 Swamp

I take the 520 bridge Eastbound every morn to work and lately I've been noticing all the lily pads that are in Lake Washington just under the bridge and I thought that would make for some great photos. Here are some pics that I snapped in the bowels of the bridge near UW.

The sad but funny part of the story is that I spotted a fallen tree that jutted into the water a bit and I thought that would give me the perfect shot. Without thinking, I quickly stepped onto it and slipped on the wet surface and fell, which totally jacked my knee. My first concern was to not get my camera wet and then my cell phone started ringing, as I sat on the log drenched in water-not exactly the best timing! I limped back to my car and made it home in one piece.

Today I'm taking the day off because I can barely put any weight on my right knee and I probably have a minor sprain. The irony is that I was playing hooky from work yesterday when I fell so I had to take a real sick day to recouperate. Luckily I have the comfort of cable t.v and I've been watching, Ice Road Truckers all morning on The History Channel. Lesson learned, but I hope my 5 or 6 readers appreciate the lengths that I take to deliver high quality pics.

rebirth

I bought these frames circa 1999 at Market Optical and at the time it felt like I spent way too much money on them but they have been great frames for me over the years especially during this whole Nerd-Sheik look that seems to be so popular here.

According to DaisyMaeRobin's Cost Per Use Shopping Model, these frames have already paid for themselves many times over and I decided to extend their lifespan a bit longer. I recently lost my beloved vintage framed sunglasses and my eyes have become very light sensitive living here in the sunlight deprived NW.

New frames and prescription lenses would have run me about 300 beans so I decided to go the consumer friendly route which is to buy new dark lenses from my favorite place for glasses Eyes on Fremont. I'm happy because I saved some $$$ and I get to wear these old frames of mine again.

hair snizzle

It's been about 3 months since I chopped my hair and Summer is upon us and I always feel so Fresh n Clean after a haircut so I decided to try out Ballard's very own BabaLouise. It's perfectly located on 65th NW and very near to a coupla bars that I have logged way too much time in. The place was very mellow and has a super cool Tikki theme that I totally dug. My stylist Donna gave me a great High n Tight or Para-Military look that I really like and at a very reasonable price of $23. I left feeling refreshed and ready for a post work week cocktail.

Oh and NO I didn't dye my hair with some freakish orange tint. I wanted to emphasize the textures in my hair and the blinds behind me are representative of beams of light showing off my new cut. This also reminds me of a bad Christian sunset pic. (note to self-maybe you shouldn't have smoked so much of that herb tonight)

I'm a big fan of "product" and I've been using it in my hair since I got my first brush-cut way back in the mid 80's. Back then I bought some really nasty, thick shit and I thought that I was really post-punk rock even though I grew up in the Chicago suburbs. I also went through a phase of using alcohol soaked Gels that left my hair limp and dry and that ain't coo.'

Well product has come a long way since then and I have graduated to the good stuff now. Crew makes a really good line of hair stuff and I really like the forming cream which is not too thick like a pomade but gives you a great deal of hold. It gives the look that I love so much which is: I just got outtta bed but I'm pretending to be a Metro-Sexual.

Interbay P-Patch

I am a sensative man and I like taking pictures of pretty flowers. I took these today at the Interbay P-Patch. This red flower (whose name I don't know) reminds me of a poppy plant and that got me a bit excited. It would be so cool to have the chance one day to be able to run completely nude through a field of opium plants. Duuuuuude. But knowing my luck I would probably fall down and skin a knee or injure something much more sensative.

Taco Loco

Dearest Mexican Food,

I love you so much that I could eat you every meal of the day. From your tasty breakfast burritos to your mid-day carne asada tacos to your delicious dinner-time sizzling fajitas. I want you in my mouth all day long!

OK that's a bit much but do you get the idea that I really like Mexican food?

There is a little known taco cart that lies just in the shadow of the Ballard bridge and right before Leary Way. Look out for it because it's really easy to drive past but it's well worth the visit. I'd suggest getting the food to go because eating in the stone parking lot is a bit harsh but it's perfect if you just want to stop for a quick bite of heaven.