Gmoney's Book Club

V-day is the day that people traditionally express their love for their spouse, partner or F*CK-buddy, but not everyone is tied down to just one person. In celebration of non-monogymous relationships, I am proud to share with you, The Art of Mackin. The "how to" book for wannabe playas or pimps.

Here are some selected exerpts:

How to tell if a woman is a chickenhead (low-budget or hoochie)
* Her weave doesn't match her real hair.
* If she has gold teeth.
* If she has acrylics on her toenails.

Here is how you can tell you're in the home of a chickenhead:
* If her mother tries to send you to the store for beer.
* If she washes her panties in the bathroom sink.

According to the author, there are 5 types of pimps:
1: The Gorilla Pimp
2: The Sweet Mackin Pimp (I'd fall into that category)
3: The Rigid Pimp (Not sure what that means)
4: The Professional Pimp (Aren't they all? )
5: The Overly Flashy Pimp

This book contains a wealth of material for the beginning pimp and proudly sits on my bathroom shelf next to my Ebola stuffed animal that is magnified 1,000,000 times the actual size, giantmicrobes.com

Thanks to my dear friend Jody that gave this book to me as a birthday gift a few years ago.

Winter in Seattle

One of my favorite places in Seattle is Golden Gardens park and I always feel like I'm on vacation when I visit there even though it's only a short distance from my apartment.

Here are some pics I snapped this morning after two days of non-stop rain. As you can tell, I really like taking pics of nude winter trees so please indulge me while I share.

Let's crop the same pic a bit and play with the colors.


My regular readers may remember this group of trees that I blogged about in May.
And this is how they look in January. The winter version is not quite as pretty but still nice.

I saw lots of brightly colored plants and sea life that washed up on the beach.


This especially creepy looking "life form" looks like it may have had eyes at one point...

Product

One of my friends (that doesn't blog) recently declared that blogging is self-indulgent and gratuitous. My reaction was, YES, and isn't that kind of the point of it all.

Endorsement of the month: Osis Fiber Gum:
Here is some good stuff to put in your hair if you want to get laid or just look good when steppin out. I got this at BabaLouise in Ballard for $14.95.

the throne of kings

Here is a fact.: When a man needs to visit the facilities to take a leak, he needs to feel comfortable. Mulleadys in Magnolia has one of the best pissers in Seattle.
The ginormous urinal in the gentlemen’s restroom was salvaged from the old Seattle Orpheum Theatre of the early 1920s. It's truly a treat when you have to make a deposit after several beers.

forest friends log

The forest friends log from The Swiss Colony has been a holiday favorite in my family for many years now. It's a perfectly delicious 8" chocolate cake with swirls of butter creme filling.
Picture an upscale Ho-Ho on Roids.

Hmmm Tasty!

The only downside to this delightful treat is that you have to get over the, "deer in the headlights" look from the little forest friends as they sit trapped behind the cellophane wrapper, staring at you, as they await their demise.

I can almost hear them begging me not to eat them but the temptation is too great to resist.

bring it

Happy Turkey Day to all!

Who'd have thunk it'd be dry and sunny on Thanksgiving in Seattle?

Since I moved to the NW 10 years ago I've always wanted to buy one of these living x-mas trees and last weekend I finally broke down and bought one.

It's almost sickening how early the Holidaze start every year and I'm guilty of buying this little Charlie Brown tree nearly a week before Thanksgiving. I couldn't resist it with it's adorable red bow and I plan to re-pot it so that it can continue growing on my balcony.

Business Time

It's about time the first season of Flight of the Conchords was released on dvd. If you haven't seen it yet then I highly suggest that you RUN to your nearest video store and rent both discs immediately or just buy the set because you'll surely watch it more than once. If you're a cheap bastard, you can download it via bittorent or why don't you just rip it to your hard drive and then you can burn it to a dvd. Mass produce it and sell the damn thing on craigslist for $5 a pop. Until then, please enjoy this clip.